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Today's stories [8.5.18]

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Read this in a classified ad: 

     "Vacation special: Have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts."

1. 




Harlan says there's a Judi who works at his place:  Our 
receptionist, (yes, she is a blonde), often takes orders to call 
out for pizza on nights we work late. One night, after placing an 
order for two pizza's from around the corner, we asked her how 
long it would be. She said she was told 40 minutes. When we 
commented to her that we thought that was a long time, she 
responded "that seems about right, it takes 20 minutes to cook 
a pizza and we ordered 2 of them". 

2. 




LONGEST TURD

The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American, who produced a
'staggering turd' over a period of 2 hr 12 mins which was officially
measured at 12 ft 2 in. The offender is banned from 134 washrooms in his
state.

3. 



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