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Today's quotes [8.9.18]

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"Apparently giving caffeine to spiders makes them spin really bad webs,
 whereas giving them LSD makes them more uniform and better. Imagine what
 the WWW would have been like if it had been invented in the 60's"

-- Unknown, alt.sysadmin.recovery


1. 




I would love to speak a foreign language but I can't. So I grew hair
   under my arms instead.
         Sue Kolinsky


2. 




The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be
   caught dead in otherwise.
         Roger Simon


3. 




You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax, tomorrow
   you'll be afraid to cough.
         Pearl Williams


4. 




I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
         Dave Edison


5. 



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