Today's quotes [8.7.18]
Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to quote categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.
Advertising: The science of arresting the human intelligence long
enough to get money from it
I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you
must eat it with naked fat people.
Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and
anyone going faster than you is a moron.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five
miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where
the hell she is.
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's JokesToday's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
1 2 3 4
5 6 7 8 9 10 11
12 13 14 15 16 17 18
19 20 21 22 23 24 25
26 27 28 29 30 31