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Today's jokes [7.3.18]

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   Titicons
   (.)(.) tiny tits
   (o) (o) regular tits
   ( O )( O ) big tits
   ( @ ) ( @ ) big harry tits
   ( ' ) ( ' ) perky tits
   {.} {.} shriveled tits
   ( , ) ( , ) drippy tits
   [ _ ] [ _ ] android tits
   ( # ) ( # ) Tysoned tits
   


1. 




The first Jewish woman President is elected.
She calls her Mother: "Mama, I've won the elections,
you've got to come to the swearing-in ceremony."
"I don't know, what would I wear?"
"Don't worry, I'll send you a dressmaker"
"But I only eat kosher food"
"Mama, I am going to be the president, I can get you kosher food"
"But how will I get there?"
"I'll send a limo, just come mama"
"Ok, Ok, if it makes you happy.
The great day comes and Mama is seated between the Supreme Court
Justices and the Future Cabinet members, she nudges the gentleman
on her right. "You see that girl, the one with her hand on the Bible?"
..."Her brother's a doctor!" 

2. 




"Will the father be present during the birth?"
asked the obstetrician.
"Nah," replied the mother-to-be,
"He and my husband don't get along."

3. 




Two male flies are buzzing around, cruising for good
looking females. One spots a real cutie sitting on a
pile of cow shit and dives down toward her.

"Pardon me" he asks, turning on his best charm,
"...but is this stool taken?"

4. 




Good News, Bad News, Worse News III

  Good: 
        Your husband understands fashion
   Bad: 
        He's a crossdresser
 Worse: 
        He looks better than you

5. 



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