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Today's quotes [5.2.18]

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"A study in the Washington Post says that women have better
verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of
that study: Duh."

                                     - Conan O'Brien

1. 




"The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears
comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner."

                                       - Roseanne

2. 




"I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York 
said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't
cold enough. Let's go west.'"

                                            - Richard Jeni

3. 




"If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and
all the impersonators would be dead."

                             - Johnny Carson

4. 




"Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."

                                                - Paul Rodriguez

5. 



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