Today's poems [5.9.18]
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There was an old sculptor named Phidias
Whose knowledge of art was invidious.
He carved Aphrodite
Without any nightie---
Which startled the purely fastidious.
There was a young fellow named Biddle
Whose girl had to teach him to diddle.
She grabbed hold of his bow
And said, "If you want to know,
You can try parting my hair in the middle."
There was a young lady from Munich
Who was had in a park by a eunuch.
In a moment of passion
He shot her a ration
From a squirt-gun concealed 'neath his tunic.
Said my wife as she stood on a rostrum,
"I don't mind if I don't have colostrum,
But I'll take an option
If your child's for adoption---
Though I cannot bear kids, I can foster 'em."
A prim young fellatrix named Prue
Said, "There's one thing a nice girl won't do.
You may not touch my rear end,
But if my up-here end
Appeals, there's a hole in that too."
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