Today's poems [5.16.18]
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There was a young man from Racine
Who invented a fucking machine:
Both concave and convex,
It would fit either sex -
And could play with itself in between.
Most all husbands can testify
To a wedding they cannot deny.
'Cause they know where and when
They got married, but then,
What exactly escapes them is why.
A proper young person named Gissing
Announced he had given up kissing.
"I strike out at once
For something that counts,
And besides my girl's front teeth are missing."
There was a young laundress of Lamas
Who invented high amorous dramas
For the spots she espied
Dried and hardened inside
The pants of the parson's pajamas.
There was a young lad from Nahant
Who was made like the Sensitive Plant.
When asked, "Do you fuck?"
He replied, "No such luck.
I would if I could but I can't."
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