Today's jokes [5.9.18]
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What do you call a gay Indian?
A brave sucker!
Here's a sad one...
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a poodle?
A: A dead poodle with an 18 inch asshole.
A fellow was following a truck in heavy traffic. Every block or so, when
they were stopped at a stop light, the driver of the truck would jump out
of the cab with a big stick and bang on the side of the cargo bay. He'd
then jump back into the cab in time to drive away when the signal changed.
The first fellow observed this for several miles, until he could stand it
no longer. The next time the truck driver jumped out with the stick, the
first fellow jumped out and ran up to him. "I'm sorry to bother you," he
said, over the din of the banging, "but I am very curious; could you tell
me what you are doing?" Without breaking rhythm, the truck driver replied,
"Sure, Mac. Ya see, this here's a six-ton truck but I've got eight tons of
canaries aboard, so I've gotta keep two ton of them flying all the time so
I don't break an axle".
Two friends met after a long time, and chatted about what´s been going on
since they last met. One of them had a new girlfriend and the other one
asked about her cooking, her relation to his folks etc. etc. and finally
asked "How is she in bed?" First guy replies "She´s fantastic, she sucks
like a real man!"
A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours
to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast,
he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home. Just as he was
about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if
he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone. Not being
able to say no, he allowed the old gent to join him.
To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly. He didn't hit the
ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn't waste much time.
Finally, they reached the 9th fairway and the young man found himself
with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his
ball - and directly between his ball and the green. After several
minutes of debating how to hit the shot the old man finally said,
"You know, when I was your age I'd hit the ball right over that tree."
With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit
the ball up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it
thudded back on the ground not a foot from where it had originally
The old man offered one more comment, "Of course, when I was your age
that pine tree was only 3 feet tall."
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