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Today's jokes [5.7.18]

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How can you identify an blind pirate?

He's the one with patches over both eyes. 

1. 




Did you hear about the queer deaf mute?

     - Neither did he. 

2. 




Why don't mexicans have checking accounts?

It's too hard to spray paint your name on the little line.

3. 




A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees 
a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders.  He says, 
"What the hell is that all about?"

The farmer says, "We had a fire in the chicken coop and all 
his feathers got  singed off, so the wife made him some 
clothes to keep him warm. There ain't nothing funnier than 
watching him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his 
pants down with the other."

4. 




What is the difference between a English actuary and a Sicilian actuary?

An English actuary can tell you how many people are going to die next 
year. A Sicilian actuary can give you their names...

5. 



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