Today's quotes [4.13.18]
Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to quote categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.
I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats.
I don't intend to waste any of mine running around exercising.
- Neil Armstrong
"To what do you attribute your old age?"
"The fact that I was born a long time ago."
"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets."
- Dave Edison
"Internode Professional Access: A Great Route, Every Time"
-- Simon Hackett
"Does anybody know any (dis)reputable arms dealers where I could by a nuke
to aim at Seattle?"
"YM 'Redmond'. Microsoft == Redmond, Microsoft != Seattle."
"Ahh, but 'tis only a matter of blast radius."
-- Jonathan Nicholson (firstname.lastname@example.org),
Debbie Schwartz (email@example.com),
Majdi Abbas (firstname.lastname@example.org)
By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's JokesToday's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10 11 12 13 14
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26 27 28