Today's quotes [4.11.18]
Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to quote categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.
"The reason there are two senators for each
state is so that one can be designated driver."
-- Jay Leno
Never get into an argument with the schizophrenic person and say,
"Who do you think you are?"
I have a great dog. She's half Lab, half pit bull. The good
combination. Sure, she might fight off my leg. But she'll bring it
back to me.
"At a time when political correctness is valued over honesty, I would also
like to say, 'Right on, motherf-----. Everyone is a winner!'"
-- Madonna, scandalizing the British art-loving public by swearing as she
presented the Turner Prize on a live TV broadcast.
"I think if we all acted the way we really felt, four out of eight people
at a dinner table would be sitting there sobbing."
-- Jim Carrey on the human condition in the London Observer.
By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's JokesToday's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10 11 12 13 14
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26 27 28