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Today's quotes [4.1.18]

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Going to war without France is like going
deer hunting without your accordion."

                               Norman Schwartzkopf


1. 




The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in school was my blood alcohol content.

2. 




My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child.  We
can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.

                                                 -Rita Rudner

3. 




Once over the hill, you pick up speed.

4. 




I don't do drugs anymore...I get the same effect just standing up fast.

5. 



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