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Today's poems [4.5.18]

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A near-sighted chap named Coulter
Led a glamorous gal to the altar.
Quite lovely he thought her
Till some strong soap and hot water
Made her look like the rock of Gibraltar.

1. 




There once was a fellow named Clyde,
Who fell in an outhouse and died.
Along came his brother
Who fell in another,
And now they're interred side by side. 

2. 




Spam Haiku



Pink tender morsel,
Glistening with salty gel.
What the hell is it?

 --------------

Ears, snouts and inards,
A homogeneous mass.
Pass another slice.

 --------------

Old man seeks doctor.
"I eat SPAM daily", says he.
Angioplasty.

 --------------

Highly unnatural,
The tortured shape of this "food":
A small pink coffin.

 - author unknown



3. 




There once was a man named Sweenie,
 who spilled some gin on his weenie.
 So just to be couth,
 he spilled some vermouth.
 And then slipped his girl a Martini.

4. 




                    A hermit who had an oasis
                            
                    Thought it the best of all places:
                            He could pray and be calm
                            'Neath a pleasant date-palm,
                            
                    While the lice on his ballocks ran races.
                            
                                              


5. 



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