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Today's stories [3.7.18]

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A 50 year old woman was brought into a New York emergency room 
complaining of abdominal pains. 
During an examination, doctors found that the woman's labia were 
pinned together with old safety pins. Further inside, they found 
the dismembered body of a chicken. The woman explained that she 
inserted the chicken pieces, convinced that they would grow into a baby. 


In Kentucky, a woman complained of a purple discharge from her 
vagina. She thought it might have something to do with the diaphragm 
that her doctor had recently given her. 
"I followed all the instructions to the letter," she told her doctor, 
"and used it with the jelly." 
When asked which kind of jelly she had used, she replied "Grape." 


A 20 year old man came to casualty with a stony mass in his rectum. 
He said that he and his boyfriend were fooling around with concrete 
mix, when his boyfriend had the idea of pouring the mix into his 
anus using a funnel. The concrete then hardened, causing constipation and 
pain. Under general anaesthesia, a perfect concrete cast of the man's 
rectum was removed, along with a stray ping-pong ball! 


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