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Today's stories [2.7.18]

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A woman is suing the pharmacy that sold her a
popular contraceptive jelly - because she ate the stuff on toast
and got pregnant anyway.

And, incredibly, many legal experts are saying she's got an
excellent chance of collecting!

"The woman is a complete idiot," said one attorney who asked that we
not use his name. "How bright can you be if you think eating a
vaginal gel will prevent conception?

"But certain aspects of the case involve truth in labeling and false
advertising issues. She may not collect but she'll make a lot of
noise and trouble. People are down on lawyers anyway. They think we
waste time and money on frivolous lawsuits. This isn't going to help
our public relations any."

A spokesman for the unnamed mom-and-pop drugstore says he's shocked
and angry that such a case could ever be taken seriously. "All she
has to do is open the box and read the directions," says the
spokesman. "Next thing you know someone will come after us because
they couldn't stick things together with their toothpaste.

"I can just imagine some moron saying: 'It's paste, isn't it? Why
can't I glue these papers onto my bulletin board?' "

But attorneys for Mrs. Chyton say she was swindled and lied to by
implication and they intend to make the pharmacy pay $500,000 for
the hardship the woman will have to endure.

"It says right on it 'jelly,'" says Mrs. Chyton, a former model who
was once a cheerleader for a popular professional basketball team.

"And they kept it on the shelf just two aisles from the food
section. I know, now, that the directions say it should be used
vaginally with a condom.

"But who has time to sit around reading directions these days -
especially when you're sexually aroused?

"The company should call it something else and the pharmacy
shouldn't sell it without telling each and every customer who buys it
that eating it won't prevent you from getting pregnant."

As bizarre as it sounds, the pharmacy could wind up losing the
lawsuit. "It's hard for businesses to avoid troublesome lawsuits,"
said another attorney.

"With the courts bending over backwards to please consumer groups,
the temper of the times is perfect for these crackpots to bring legal
action against businesses - even a moronic legal action like this."

1. 




Colena was telling me about her buddy and *his* girlfriend. 
They were working on a vehicle and using gasoline to clean the 
parts with.  It was a warm day and the gas was sitting in a 
coffee can in the sun and eventually evaporated. Judi 
demanded to know what happened to it. When they told her 
what happened, she asked what eveporation was. So they told 
her it got hot in the sun & made it go away.... Judi's reply... 
"If you put it in the shade, will it come back?"

2. 




After the birth of her new baby, my cousin brought him to my place for a visit.
While there, she decided to prepare dinner one night and the three of us went
to the grocery store to get the things she needed.  While she was shopping, I
was holding the baby and slowly meandering through the place.  A woman walked
past me, knocked my purse from my shoulder, put her hand on my arm, looked me
in the eye and said, "I'm sorry."  I said it wasn't a problem and we each went
on our way.  When I told my cousin about it she insisted that I had just been
hit by a pickpocket.  I checked and found my wallet and keys were still in my
purse.  It wasn't until at work the next day that I discovered the missing item
-- a sanitary napkin.

Sent by renae


3. 



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