Today's poems [2.4.18]
Vote for the poem that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to poem categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your poem reading.
I'm sure you can't imagine
it's as simple as can be
the place is very private
the players are he and she
She whispers softly it will hurt
of course not he replied
It's just a simple proscess
lay back and close your eyes
She say's I'm rather frightned
I've never done this before
He wanted to continue
it won't hurt much more
It's getting rather painfull
as tears come to her eyes
it's hurting something awful
it must be quite a size
Calm yourself my darling
the pleasure refolds your sin
Now open slightly
so I can fit more in
Suddenly with a jerk
she gave a shout
Now that it's all over with
He slowly pulled it out
*Now if you read this carefully
you will find
it's not what you think
it's just your dirty mind
It is just a visit to the dentist!!!
Sent by Tamara
My back aches. My penis is sore.
I simply can't fuck any more.
I'm dripping with sweat,
And you haven't come yet;
And, my God! it's a quarter to four!
The Very Very Untitled Poem
To you I write this poem of nonsense
My back is aching, my shoulders, tense
My R.S.I. is D.O.A.
Q.E.D. I.Q. O.K.
My temper frayed, about to snap
I am the king of talking crap
I try to do the best I can
I`m worse than David Letterman!
I watch TV to ease the friction
Of this internet addiction
But to my dismay, I find
I cannot leave the net behind
The world wide web calls to me
Like a mermaid siren in the cyber-sea.
Like watching "Twin Peaks", I`ve lost
I`ve been writing for weeks and this
is all I got.
With liquid refreshment as my
Just cider that`s been through
Talkin` `bout my generation.
Pen to paper. Fingers on the keyboard.
Makes no difference. I`m still bored.
Light goes on if you pull the cord
Which payment plan can I afford?
Eat ice cream with some toffee fudge
"Robot" is the Czech word for "drudge".
I, robot. I scream!
Never mind. It doesn`t matter
I eat and drink and just get fatter
Excuse my ramblings. Now, I`ll cease.
And leave you lot in peace ;~)
© 1999 Peter Hughes
Sent by Pete Hughes
A lecherous fellow named Babbitt
Asked a girl if she'd fuck or would nab it.
Said she, "From long habit
I fuck like a rabbit,
So I'd rather cohabit than grab it."
When Betty eats sphaghetti
She slurps, she slurps, she slurps,
And when she's finished slurping
She burps, she burps, she burps
Sent by Farah
By voting you are helping select today's best poem. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best poems to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's JokesToday's StoriesToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
1 2 3
4 5 6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15 16 17
18 19 20 21 22 23 24
25 26 27 28