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Today's stories [12.3.18]

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In Guthrie, Okla., in October, Jason Heck tried to kill a millipede
with a shot from his .22-caliber rifle, but the bullet ricocheted
off a rock near the hole and hit pal Antonio Martinez in the head,
fracturing his skull. 

1. 




   It's not all that often a wife will confess her faults. Just the other
   nite my wife said, "Hon, I know I'm not the perfect wife. I realize
   I'm often too outspoken."
   
   Risking all manner of flying objects, I couldn't resist the temptation
   and calmly replied, "Oh, by whom dear ?"


2. 




   Women ! Who can figure 'em out ? Now that the kids are grown and gone,
   my wife sez she needs more "outside interests". I thought I'd surprise
   her and presented her with a brand new fancy lawn mower, just the
   other day.
   
   Now, she's mad with me.


3. 



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