Today's stories [12.2.18]
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people were stricken with salmonella poisoning after
drinking unpasteurized orange juice at Disney World. Disney
officials admit the mistake, but downplay the sickness, pointing
out that "it's a small hurl after all."
Salt Lake City is No. 1 in the world in Jell-O consumption.
Says Jay Leno, "But LA is still No. 1 if you include
recreational use. You know -- naked wrestling, Jell-O shots."
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this
creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into
the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm
is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the
whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."
"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I
sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment.
He can accompany it or not, as he chooses." The defendant
smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his
artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.
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