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Today's quotes [12.1.18]

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Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same
   reactions in the brain as marijuana...The researchers also discovered
   other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are.
   --Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22


1. 




Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be
   discontinued... Reason: it has been reported to our office that you
   expired on January 1, 1976.
   -- Letter from the Illinois Department of Public Aid


2. 




Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself.
   -- Chicago Rotary Club journal, "Gyrator"


3. 




"You guys line up alphabetically by height."
   - Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach


4. 




"You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."
   - Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach


5. 



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