Today's jokes [12.3.18]
Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to joke categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.
How does Herpes leave the hospital?
What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?
Q: What's stiff and excites women?
A: Elvis Presley.
Young Amanpreet never quite got over his miserable
childhood as an orphan in the ghetto. When he turned 18 he
joined the Marines, but old habits die hard and one night the
sergeant found him rummaging around the garbage and eating
out of the discarded cans and jars.
"On your free, Lizard Pecker," he bellowed. "You'll eat in
the message hall -- you're no better than the rest of us!"
This man got his prescription for Viagra, and goes home to get
ready for when his wife gets home. He calls her on the phone,
and says, "I'll be home in an hour."
"Perfect," she replies.
The man thinks her agreement is because the Doctor told him
to take his Viagra an hour before. He takes the Viagra and
waits. Well, and hour goes by, the man is ready to go, but no
She calls him on the phone and she says, "Traffic is terrible. I
won't be there for about an hour and a half."
The man, frustrated, calls his Doctor for advice. "What should I
do?" he asks.
The Doctor replied, "It would be a shame to waste it. Do you
have a housekeeper around?"
"Yes" the man replied.
"Well, maybe you can occupy yourself with her instead?" said
The man then replied with dismay, "But I don't need Viagra
with the housekeeper..."
By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
2 3 4 5 6 7 8
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23 24 25 26 27 28 29