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Today's stories [11.9.18]

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After the worldwide strike of the "I LOVE YOU VIRUS," reports are already 
coming in that the virus is mutating into several stages. Within the next 
few hours, expect to see: 

The original "I love you" virus 
The "I like you alot" virus 
The "You're nice, but I just want to be friends" virus 
The "Look, it was just a date...don't get clingy" virus 
The "Okay, I think its best if we don't have anymore contact" virus 
The "It was late, I was drunk, you were easy" virus 
The "Stop calling me, you unfeeling jerk" virus 
The "That's it, I hate you and your stupid dog" virus 

and finally, 

The "You have made an enemy today, prepare to be boarded" virus

1. 




Something only recently discovered:

Due to an anticipated voter turnout much larger than
originally expected, the polling facilities may not
be able to handle the load all at once. 

Therefore, Republicans are requested to vote on
Wednesday, November 8, and Democrats and Independents
on Tuesday, November 7. Please pass this message
along and help us to make sure that nobody gets left out. 

2000 Presidential Election Commission

2. 




When George W. Bush was asked if he knew what Roe versus Wade was,
he said he thought it was the decision that General George Washington 
needed to make when he planned to cross the Delaware.

3. 



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