Today's poems [10.10.18]
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Part 1 of 2:
There was a young girl with a pretty-ass,
And her habits were neat but invidious.
She would wipe with a taper
Of scented blue paper,
Since she was so very fastidious.
The Bishop of Solomons diocese
Was stricken with elephantiasis,
The public beheld
His balls as they swelled
By paying exorbitant priocese.
An old maiden who barely did kissing,
Soon discovered what she had been missing.
When laid down on the sod,
She cried out, "Oh, God!
All these years I just used it for pissing!"
There was a young Scot in Madrid
Who got fifty-five fucks for a quid.
When they said, "Are you faint?"
He replied, "No, I ain't,
But I don't feel as good as I did."
A hungry old trollop from Yemen
Did a pretty good business with He-men.
But she gave up all fucking
In favour of sucking
For the protein contained in the semen.
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