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Today's jokes [10.1.18]

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When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts",
and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

1. 




Now I understand what marketing is:

You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You approach her and 
tell her: "I am very good in bed". That is Direct Marketing.

You are at a party with a group of friends and you see a very pretty 
girl. One of your friends approaches her and tells her: "That guy over 
there is very good in bed". That is Advertising.

You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You ask for her phone 
number. The following day you call her and tell her: "I am very good in 
bed". That is Telemarketing .

You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You recognize her, you 
approach her and refresh her memory by telling her: "Do you remember how 
good I am in bed?" That is Customer Relationship Management. 

You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You get up, fix your 
tie, pour her a drink, open the door for her, pick up her bag when it 
falls and you tell her: "I am very good in bed". That is Public Relations.

You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. She approaches you and 
tells you: "I heard you are very good in bed". That is BRANDING!!

2. 




At lunch time, sit in your parked car w/sunglasses on and point a 
hairdryer at passing cars.  See if they slow down.

3. 




Why don't Jewish mothers drink?

Alcohol interferes with their suffering.

4. 




What is an activity performed by 40% of all people at a party?

Snoop in your medicine cabinet.


5. 



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