Today's jokes [1.4.18]
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A little boy is standing at the side of a river, weeping.
His tears are streaming down his cheeks.
An elderly lady passes by and feels pity for him.
"What is the matter, young boy? Why are you crying?"
"It's mean!", the boy sniffed, "My daddy drowned all four
little kittens we had yesterday!"
"That's awful indeed !", the lady replied angrily, "Your
father is a real bastard!'
"Yes", said the little boy, "He had promised to me that
I could do it."
I don't think this whole White House scandal is good for
parents. I caught my six year old son David in a lie, and he
said we could discuss it tonight in a "National Town Meeting."
A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a
dumb blonde. Her friend tells her "go do something to prove them wrong!
Why don't you learn all the state capitals or something?" The blonde
thinks this is a great idea, and locks herself up for two weeks studying.
The next party she goes to, some guy is making dumb blonde comments to
her. She gets all indignant and claims, "I'm NOT a dumb blonde. In fact, I
can name ALL the state capitals!" The guy doesn't believe her, so she
dares him to test her. He says "Okay, what's the Capital of Montana?" The
blonde tosses her hair in triumph and says, "That's easy! It's M!"
What do you call 20 lawyers skydiving?
Perfect setup for skeet shooting.
Two tigers are walking along a jungle trail in single file.
The rearmost tiger wanders off the trail for a few minutes, then
reappears shortly thereafter. A few moments later, the front tiger
feels what seems to be the other tiger's tongue, applied just below
his tail. The tiger disapproves of this action, but doesn't want to
start anything by bringing it up. Then, the tiger again feels the
tongue, again in the same place.
He decides to confront the after tiger, and asks him, "Did you just
lick me twice in the butt?"
The other tiger replied, "Yeah, sorry about that. I just ate a lawyer
and I was trying to get the taste out of my mouth."
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