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Today's stories [9.3.17]

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A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this
creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into
the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm
is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the
whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."
"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I
sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment.
He can accompany it or not, as he chooses." The defendant
smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his
artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out. 

1. 




In Guthrie, Okla., in October, Jason Heck tried to kill a millipede
with a shot from his .22-caliber rifle, but the bullet ricocheted
off a rock near the hole and hit pal Antonio Martinez in the head,
fracturing his skull. 

2. 




   It's not all that often a wife will confess her faults. Just the other
   nite my wife said, "Hon, I know I'm not the perfect wife. I realize
   I'm often too outspoken."
   
   Risking all manner of flying objects, I couldn't resist the temptation
   and calmly replied, "Oh, by whom dear ?"


3. 



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