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Today's jokes [9.10.17]

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Good News, Bad News, Worse News V
 
  Good: 
        You give the birds and bees talk to your daughter
   Bad: 
        She keeps interrupting
 Worse: 
        With corrections

1. 




   My wife and I were watching some TV show the other nite where the wife
   hired a private detective to follow her husband and see if he were in
   fact "cheating" on her. I asked my wife if she would ever do that.
   
   She said, "Well not so much to find out who the other woman was, but
   to see if I could find out what she saw in ya."


2. 




David Copperfield is doing his magic show and asks if anyone would like to
show him a trick. 
"I will", replies a guy in the audience, "but I'm going to need your wife 
Claudia and a table." 
"Ok", says David and the guy gets on stage.
He then bends Claudia over the table, pulls down her knickers and starts
fucking her from behind. David is now very pissed off and says, 
"That isn't a trick!!!"
The guy just looks at David Copperfield and replies,
"I know, it's fucking magic."

3. 




Aspirin makes a great contraceptive. Jhold it between your knees.

4. 




An Irish man went to the courthouse to change his name
legally changed. When he replied, the desk clerk asked
"Can i help you sir?"
Our man said "Yes, I would like to change my name."
"What is your current name?" asked the clerk.
"Martin Arsehole," replied the man.
The clerk laughed, and said "I can see why you want a
change. What would you like your new name to be?"
"Tim." 

5. 



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