Today's stories [8.7.17]
Vote for the story that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to story categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your story reading.
"GOP leaders have returned from that bash in Palm Beach for
donors of $175,000," says Hamilton. "Last Year, Congress
promised to do something about special-interest contributions.
What they have decided to do is deposit them."
Matsushita Electric is promoting a new Japanese PC targeted
at the Internet. Panasonic has developed a complete Japanese
Web browser, and to make the system "user-friendly", licensed
the cartoon character "Woody Woodpecker" as the "Internet
guide." Panasonic eventually planned on a world version of the
A huge marketing campaign was to have introduced the product in
Japan last week. The day before the ads were to be released,
Panasonic suddenly pulled back and delayed the product launch
The reason: the ads featured the slogan "Touch Woody - The Internet
Pecker." An American staff member at the internal product launch
explained to the stunned and embarrassed Japanese what "touch woody"
and "pecker" meant in American slang.
-From EE Times, October 8, 1996
[Times of London]
A thief who sneaked into a hospital was scarred for life when he tried to
get a suntan. After evading security staff at Odstock Hospital in
Salisbury, Wiltshire, and helping himself to doctors' paging devices, the
thief spotted a vertical sunbed. He walked into the unit and removed his
clothes for a 45-minute tan. However, the high-voltage UV machine at the
hospital, which is renowned for its treatment of burns victims, has a
maximum dosage of ten seconds. After lying on the bed for almost 300
times the recommended maximum time the man was covered in blisters. Hours
later, when the pain of the burns became unbearable, he went to Southampton
General Hospital, 20 miles away, in Hampshire. Staff became suspicious
because he was wearing a doctor's coat. After tending his wounds they called
the police. Southampton police said: "This man broke
into Odstock and decided he fancied a quick suntan. Doctors say he is
going to be scarred for life."
By voting you are helping select today's best story. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best stories to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's JokesToday's PoemsToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
1 2 3 4 5
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
13 14 15 16 17 18 19
20 21 22 23 24 25 26
27 28 29 30 31