Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  
 


Today's poems [8.12.17]

Vote for the poem that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to poem categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your poem reading.


There once was a lady from Hyde,
Who ate a green apple and died,
While her lover lamented,
The apple fermented,
and made cider inside her inside.

1. 




It Hurts
             I'm sure you can't imagine
             it's as simple as can be
             the place is very private
             the players are he and she

             She whispers softly it will hurt
             of course not he replied
             It's just a simple proscess
             lay back and close your eyes

             She say's I'm rather frightned
             I've never done this before
             He wanted to continue
             it won't hurt much more

             It's getting rather painfull
             as tears come to her eyes
             it's hurting something awful
             it must be quite a size

             Calm yourself my darling
             the pleasure refolds your sin
             Now open slightly
             so I can fit more in

             Suddenly with a jerk
             she gave a shout
             Now that it's all over with
             He slowly pulled it out

             *Now if you read this carefully
              you will find
              it's not what you think
              it's just your dirty mind

              It is just a visit to the dentist!!!

              Sent by Tamara

2. 




My back aches. My penis is sore.
I simply can't fuck any more.
    I'm dripping with sweat,
    And you haven't come yet;
And, my God! it's a quarter to four!

3. 




The Very Very Untitled Poem

 To you I write this poem of nonsense
 My back is aching, my shoulders, tense
 My R.S.I. is D.O.A.
 Q.E.D. I.Q. O.K.
 My temper frayed, about to snap
 I am the king of talking crap
 I try to do the best I can
I`m worse than David Letterman!

 I watch TV to ease the friction
 Of this internet addiction
 But to my dismay, I find
 I cannot leave the net behind
 The world wide web calls to me
 Like a mermaid siren in the cyber-sea.
 
 Like watching "Twin Peaks", I`ve lost 
the plot
 I`ve been writing for weeks and this 
is all I got.
 With liquid refreshment as my 
inspiration
 Just cider that`s been through 
refrigeration
 Talkin` `bout my generation.

 Pen to paper. Fingers on the keyboard.
 Makes no difference. I`m still bored.
 Light goes on if you pull the cord
 Which payment plan can I afford?

 Eat ice cream with some toffee fudge
 "Robot" is the Czech word for "drudge".
 I, robot. I scream!

 Never mind. It doesn`t matter
 I eat and drink and just get fatter
 Excuse my ramblings. Now, I`ll cease.
 And leave you lot in peace ;~)

  1999 Peter Hughes


Sent by Pete Hughes

4. 




A lecherous fellow named Babbitt 
Asked a girl if she'd fuck or would nab it. 
Said she, "From long habit 
I fuck like a rabbit, 
So I'd rather cohabit than grab it." 

5. 



BONUS! A random poem from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD





By voting you are helping select today's best poem. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best poems to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Jokes
Today's Stories
Today's Quotes
Today's Funny Pic

 August '17 Poems Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
      1  2  3  4  5  
6  7  8  9  10 11 12 
13 14 15 16 17 18 19 
20 21 22 23 24 25 26 
27 28 29 30 31 

Jump to  



For any questions or comments email us at info@jokes2go.com
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.