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Today's jokes [8.7.17]

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If I have a rooster and you have a donkey and your donkey bites
off my roosters feet, what do you have? 

    Two feet of my cock in your ass. 


Q: How do you pick up TWA flight attendants?
A: With a fishing pole!


McAteer arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered about the terminal with 
tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was 
already homesick.
"No," replied McAteer. "I've lost all me luggage!" "How'd that happen?" 
"The cork fell out," said the Irishman. 


A supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts, and a woman I 
know intended to stock up. At the store, however, she was 
disappointed to find only a few skimpy prepackaged portions of the 
poultry, so she complained to the butcher. "don't worry, ya ," he 
said. "I'll pack some more trays and have them ready for you by the 
time you finish shopping." 

Several aisles later, my friend heard the butcher's voice boom over 
the public-address system: "Will the lady who wanted bigger breasts 
please meet me at the back of the store."


What is the last thing to go through the mind
of a mosquito when it hits your windscreen?

It's ass.


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