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Today's stories [7.7.17]

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A van carrying a dozen movie stuntmen on the way to a film location in the 
mountains spun out of control on the icy road, crashed through a 
guardrail, rolled down a 90-foot embankment, turned over, and burst into 
flames.

There were no injuries. 

1. 




    The following are actual stories told by travellers from
   Mendocino County, CA to travel agents in the UK. (And you wonder why
   US citizens generally score less than the rest of the world on
   geography...)
   A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was
   wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an
   ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since
   Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. >
   I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state."
   A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going
   over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to
   California and then take the train to Hawaii?"
   I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to
   explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she
   interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid but
   Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like
   the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts,
   Capetown is in Africa." Her response... click.
   A secretary called in looking for hotel in Los Angeles. She gave me
   various names off a list, none of which I could find I finally had her
   fax me the list. To my surprise, it was a list of hotels in New
   Orleans, Louisiana. She thought the LA stood for Los Angeles, and that
   New Orleans was a suburb of LA Worst of all, when I called her back,
   she was not even embarrassed.
   I got a call from a man who asked, "is it possible to see England from
   Canada?" I said, "No." He said "But they look so close on the map."
   Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I
   pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a one-hour lay-over in
   Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I
   heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the
   gates to save time."
   A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that
   her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am.
   I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but
   she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her
   the plane went very fast, and she bought that!
   A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description
   on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No,
   why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the
   airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm
   overweight, is there any connection?" After putting her on hold for a
   minute while I "looked into it" (I was actually laughing), I came back
   and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline
   was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
   I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which
   plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he
   replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes
   have numbers on them."
   A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola on one of those
   computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a
   commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."
   A business man called and had a question about the documents he needed
   in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports,
   I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China
   many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked, and
   sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said,
   "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted
   my American Express."


  

2. 




Judges don't always seem to make sense. A man found himself in front of a 
judge on two matters. In the first, the man's wife was trying to get a 
divorce because he was impotent. In the second, his secretary wanted child 
support.  The man lost both cases!

3. 



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