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Today's stories [7.1.17]

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As a younger man, I was in great shape. As an airline pilot , I was 
required to have a Flight physical every six months. 
The nurse took the basic data, weight, height, and blood pressure. My 
pressure was good, but the heart rate was below 40 beats per minute. 
"I cannot put that number down. You'll be denied a physical.",she said. 
"What can I do?", I replied. 
She held my hand and winked,saying, "Just think about that for a minute!" 
Retaking my blood pressure and heart rate, she stated, "53 will be OK,
but you really know how to hurt a girl!" 

Floyd Coons, (retired) Northwest Airlines 

Sent by Robert

1. 




The world's first fully computerised airliner was ready for its maiden 
flight with out pilots or crew. The plane taxied to the loading area 
automatically, its doors opened automatically, the steps came out 
automatically. The passengers boarded the plane and took their seats. 
The steps retreated automatically, the doors closed, and the airplane 
taxied toward the runway. 
"Good afternoon, ladies and gentleman," a voice intoned as the airplane 
lifted off. "Welcome to the debut of the world's first fully computerised 
airliner. Everything on this aircraft is run electronically. Just sit back 
and relax. Nothing can go wrong........nothing can go wrong......nothing 
can go wrong......"

2. 




Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. 
The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing their 
contract's sick-leave provisions. 

One morning at the bargaining table, the company's chief negotiator held 
aloft the morning edition of the newspaper, "This man," he 
announced, "Called in Sick yesterday!" 

There on the sports page, was a photo of the supposedly ill employee, who 
had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score. 

The silence in the room was broken by a union negotiator. "Wow," he 
said. "Think of what kind of score he could have had if he hadn't been 
sick!"

3. 



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