Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  
 


Today's quotes [7.14.17]

Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to quote categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.


"Alas poor Yorric, I smurfed him Horatio..."
                        -- Heath Copeland (there's a _lot_ more where that
                                                came from...)


1. 




"We've got a kitchen by Giger, but we're too scared to go in there."
                        -- from the sig of Peter H. Coffin, in
                           alt.sysadmin.recovery


2. 




"It is the policy of the Association for the Study of Meats not to engage
 in discrimination or harassment against any person on the basis of race,
 color, religion, intelligence, sex, lack thereof, national origin, ancestry,
 incestry, age, marital status, disability, sexual orientation, unfavorable
 discharge from the military, other unfavorable discharges, or status as a
 disabled veteran or veteran of the Vietnam era and to comply with all Federal
 and State non-discrimination, equal opportunity and affirmative action laws,
 orders, and regulations.

 The University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign does not necessarily endorse,
 recommend, or approve the products and services mentioned on this page.
 However, the administrators probably eat Spam(tm), so you shouldn't really
 care what they think.

 You are dumb.

 The above statement does not necessarily reflect the views of the Univerity
 of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign (but you know that's what they think of you).


3. 




Copyright (C) 1996 Association for the Study of Meats. All rights reserved.
 Your mileage may vary. Shipped by weight, not by volume. Legal in 49 states.
 Sorry, Tennessee. Fnord"
                        -- Disclaimer from the home page of the
                           Association for the Study of Meats


4. 




"The top ten reasons why masturbation is better than sex:

10.
9.
8.
7.
6.
5.
4.
3.
2.
1."
                        -- unknown


5. 



BONUS! A random quote from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD





By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Jokes
Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Funny Pic

 July '17 Quotes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
                  1  
2  3  4  5  6  7  8  
9  10 11 12 13 14 15 
16 17 18 19 20 21 22 
23 24 25 26 27 28 29 
30 31 

Jump to  



For any questions or comments email us at info@jokes2go.com
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.