Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  
 


Today's quotes [7.13.17]

Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to quote categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.


"Our policy is to first seek candidates from within the company. If none is
 qualified, you must use a sock puppet."
                        -- Catbert, Evil Human Resources Director


1. 




"If at first you don't succeed, redefine success."
                        -- from the sig of Malcom Herbert


2. 




"Our strategic alliance is working well. Our company provides amazing
 technical skill and your company has a seemingly endless supply of
 three-ring binders."
"Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated."
"Is it true that if your name is written in a binder you lose your soul?"
                        -- Some Guy, Dilbert, Some Other Guy


3. 




"DOS: n., A small annoying boot virus that causes random spontaneous
 system crashes, usually just before saving a massive project.  Easily
 cured by UNIX.  See also MS-DOS, IBM-DOS, DR-DOS."
                        -- David Vicker


4. 




"When life hands you a lemon, say 'Oh yeah, I _like_ lemons, what else
 ya got??'"
                        -- Henry Rollins


5. 



BONUS! A random quote from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD





By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Jokes
Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Funny Pic

 July '17 Quotes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
                  1  
2  3  4  5  6  7  8  
9  10 11 12 13 14 15 
16 17 18 19 20 21 22 
23 24 25 26 27 28 29 
30 31 

Jump to  



For any questions or comments email us at info@jokes2go.com
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.