Today's jokes [7.4.17]
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One day a boy and his father were at the dining room table
working on the boy's Social Studies homework, the chapter
about government. The boy turns to his father and asks,
"Dad, how many people work in the U.S. government?"
The father replies without hesitating, "Oh, about ten percent."
A Canadian, a Scotsman, and an Australian are in a bar discussing the
mental abilities of
their wives. The Canadian says, "You know my wife must be the most
stupid woman in
the world. She went to a supermarket sale and bought $900 worth of
meat, and we don't
even have a freezer! The Scotsman says, "That's nothing! My wife went
out last week
and bought a brand new $30,000 car, and she can't even drive! Not to
be out done, the
Aussie says, "My wife is a lot dumber than that! Last week she left
for a two week holiday
in Paris and I saw her pack 20 condoms! Hell, she doesn't even have a
A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six
The barman says "Wow! you must have had one really bad day."
"Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay."
The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same
When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came
"I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!"
On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six
The bartender said "WOW! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"
"Yeah, my wife..."
Q: What did Michael Jackson say when his cock slid
in the little boys arse?
A: There is a great musician in you.
A mouse and a lion walk were in a bar, drinking a few beers when a
giraffe walked in.
"Get a load of her" said the mouse, "what a babe!" "Well, why not try
your luck?" replied
the lion. So the mouse went over to the giraffe and started talking to
her. Within five
minutes they're out the door and into the night. The next day, the
lion was drinking in the
bar, when the mouse staggered in. The mouse is completely worn out,
and can hardly hold
himself up. The lion helped his pal up on to a stool, poured a drink
down his throat and
said, "What the hell happened to you? I saw you leave with the
giraffe, what happened
after that? Was she all right?"
The mouse replied, "Yeah, she was really something, we went out to
dinner, had a couple
of glasses of wine, and she invited me back to her place to spend the
night. And oh, man!
I've never had a night like it!" "But how come you look like you're so
the lion. "Well" said the mouse, "between the kissing and the
screwing, I must have run a
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