Today's jokes [7.2.17]
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A psychiatrist met a friend and exclaimed, "I heard you died."
"But you see I'm alive ," smiled the friend. "Impossible," said the
psychiatrist. "The man who told me is much more reliable than you."
One blonde to another...
Have you ever read Shakespeare?
No. Who wrote it?
Someone determined to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont:
I was somebody.
Who, is no business of yours.
What does a camera and a condom have in common?
They both capture that magic moment.
An elderly couple, living apart, had been dating
for several years. One day Elmer said to Betsy,
"We should stop this nonsense. We are paying two
rents, two car insurance payments, buying separate
food and cooking separate meals. We should just
move in together.
Betsy: Whose house would we live in?
Elmer: Mine, it is already paid for.
Betsy: Whose car would we keep and pay insurance on?
Elmer: Yours, it is newer and runs better than mine.
Betsy: Who would do the cooking?
Elmer: You cook and I'll do the dishes.
Betsy: What about sex?
Betsy: Is that one word or two?
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