Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  

Today's jokes [7.13.17]

Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.

    A team of archaeologists was excavating in Israel when
   they came upon a cave. Written on the wall of the cave were the
   following symbols in order of appearance.
   1. A dog
   2. A donkey
   3. A shovel
   4. A fish
   5. A Star of David
   They decided that this was a unique find and the writings were at
   least more than three thousand years old. They chopped out the piece
   of stone and had it brought to the museum where archaeologists from
   all over the world came to study the ancient symbols.
   They held a huge meeting after months of conferences to discuss what
   they could agree was the meaning of the markings. The President of
   their Society stood up, pointed at the first drawing and said, "This
   looks like a dog. We can judge that this was a highly intelligent race
   as they knew how to have animals for companionship. To prove this
   statement you, can see that the next symbol resembles a donkey, so,
   they were even smart enough to have animals help them till the soil.
   The next drawing looks like a shovel of some sort, which means they
   even had tools to help them. Even further proof of their high
   intelligence is the fish, which means that they had a famine that hit
   the earth whereby the food didn't grow, they would take to the sea for
   food. The last symbol appears to be the Star of David which means they
   were evidently Hebrews."
   The audience applauded enthusiastically, the President smiled and
   said, "I'm glad to see that you are all in full agreement with our
   Suddenly a little old Jewish man stood up in the back of the room and
   said, "I object to every word. The explanation of what the writings
   say is quite simple. First of all, everyone knows that Hebrews don't
   read from left to right, but from right to left... Now, look
   again..... It now says:


Q: What's a real mate?
A: Someone who'll go into town, get two head jobs and gives you one
.when he returns.


A woman and her friend are visiting the zoo.
They are standing in front of the big silver
back gorillas cage, when one woman makes a
gesture that the gorilla interprets as an
invitation. He grabs her yanks her over the
fence and takes her to his nest in the pen.
There he ravishhes her and makes passionate
love to her for about 2 hours till he is
tranquilized, and the lady taken to hospital. 

Her friend visits her the next day and asks" 

Are you hurt?" 

She replies. Of Course I'm hurt, He hasn't
called! He hasn't written!


A little old lady walked into the bank, cashed a small check, and started 
out. Passing the armed guard, she smiled and said, "You can go home now."


What do you call a gay bar that has no chairs?

- A fruit stand. 


BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Quotes
Today's Funny Pic

 July '17 Jokes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
2  3  4  5  6  7  8  
9  10 11 12 13 14 15 
16 17 18 19 20 21 22 
23 24 25 26 27 28 29 
30 31 

Jump to  

For any questions or comments email us at
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.