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Today's stories [5.18.17]

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A friend told me "I can understand why men don't like vasectomies.
My uncle got a vasectomy, and paid for it with MasterCard. He
forgot to pay the bill, and the finance company came over to his
house and knocked up my aunt."

1. 




The president turned back to his own role in history.
He told the audience that he saw a list of the top 100 news
stories of the century compiled by the Newseum, a journalism-
oriented museum ... across the Potomac in Virginia, and noticed
that "something about the events of the past year" [was] on it.

Clinton, smiling, revealed his number on the list: No. 53.

"No. 53! I mean, what does a guy have to do to make the top 50?
I came in six places after the invention of plastic, for crying
outloud. And I don't recall a year of 24-hour-a-day saturation
on the miracle of plastic."

               --Associated Press Report
                  on 85th White House Correspondents
                   Association Dinner
                    2 May 1999

2. 




Nairobi, Kenya -- A Kenyan doctor who removed a bean stuck in the ear of
a young girl forced it back when her parents said they couldn't afford
the bill, local newspapers reported Wednesday.

The Daily Nation said the doctor successfully removed the bean from the
child's ear and then presented the parents with a bill for $5.75.

When they said they did not have enough money, the doctor grabbed the
child, forced the bean back into her ear and ejected the family from his
workplace.

The Kenya Medical Association said it was investigating the incident.

3. 



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