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Today's stories [5.16.17]

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Seen on the back of a food service delivery van:

Driver does not
carry more than $50
worth of lasagna

1. 




Carolyn had been born and raised in Iowa and her first trip outside the 
state was to enroll in college in New York city.

Her roommate was a typical NY snob, yet had nice streak. After hearing 
Carolyn say she was from Iowa her roommate was quick to point out "that's 
all very nice, but here in the east we pronounce it Ohio." 

2. 




Jack Benny swears that one evening when he was invited to play for the 
President, a guard stopped outside the White House gate and asked, 
"Whatcha got in that case, Mr. Benny?"

Benny answered solemnly, "A machine gun."

With equal solemnity, the guard nodded. "Enter, friend. I was afraid for a 
minute it was your violin!" 

3. 



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