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Today's poems [5.14.17]

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"Remind me, dear," said Sir John Keith, 
            "As soon as I've finished my teeth, 
                To take down this glass 
                And examine my ass 
            From behind---and of course from beneath." 

1. 




There was an old girl of Kilkenny
Whose usual charge was a penny.
For half of that sum
You could finger her bum;
A source of amusement to many. 

2. 




There was a young lady from Kent,
When her husband's pecker it bent,
She said with a sigh,
"Oh, why must it die?
Let's fill it with Portland Cement." 

3. 




A virgin felt urged in Toulouse 
               Till she thought she would try sef-abuse. 
                    In search of a hard on 
                    She ran out in the garden, 
               And was had by a statue of Zeus. 

4. 




There was a young gigolo named Bruno
Who said, "Screwing's one thing I do know.
While women are fine,
And sheep are divine,
Lama's are numero uno!"

5. 



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