Today's stories [4.15.17]
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My wife used to have the habit of disbelieving something with
the phrase "my ass!" She would say "Four hundred dollars,
my ass!" or "30 minutes late, my ass!" One day a friend of
mine and I were having a conversation, which she was listening
to, and I said something like "...so it would be easy to
penetrate.." She chimed in... "Penetrate my ass!" My friend
and I laughed so long and hard we forgot what we were even
talking about! Needless to say, she doesn't say "my ass!" any
Taking a medical history is an experience: The MD, taking a
sex-behavior history asked: "How many orgasms did you have
last week?" The answer: "Counting masturbatory ones and
Sam told me about the accident he was trying to find out
Me: So I heard about some car accident this morning.
Friend: Yeah, it was Sam, he got hit by a car on the way to
Me: Oh my God, is he alright?
Friend: I don't think so, they took him to the hospital.
Me: ICU? (intensive care unit)
Friend (quite serious): I see you too, but this is no time to play
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