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Today's stories [4.1.17]

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A group of terrorists burst into the conference room at the 
Ramada Hotel, where the American Bar Association was 
holding its Annual Conventions. More than a hundred lawyers 
were taken as hostages. The terrorist leader announced that 
unless their demands were met, they would release one 
lawyer every hour. 

1. 




On our last vacation, my wife and I saved some money by staying in
a cheap hotel. Just as we were falling asleep, we heard the sounds
of mattress springs and a banging headboard from the next room.

At first we were amused by the amorous couple.
After five minutes it had lost its charm.
After ten minutes we were getting pretty annoyed, in that it was
keeping us awake.
After fifteen minutes, we were just plain ticked off.

After half an hour we were pretty damned impressed. 

2. 




Doc and his wife were splitting up the debts and assets. The
main asset, of course, was the house.  My ex's truly serious
suggestion:  "Since the house payment is a little more than
the credit card payments, I'll do you a favor and take the
house and the house payment and you can take the credit card
debt."

3. 



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