Today's quotes [4.4.17]
Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to quote categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.
"Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right. "
- Henry Ford (1863-1947)
"Do, or do not. There is no 'try'. "
- Yoda ('The Empire Strikes Back')
(written high upon the wall above a urinal)
Don't look up here, the joke's in your hand.
It's not who you kill. It's what type of cereal you eat
out of their skull.
God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent --
it says so right here in the label. If you have a mind
capable of believing all three of these divine attributes
simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you.
No checks, please. Cash, and in small bills.
- Lazarus Long
By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's JokesToday's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
2 3 4 5 6 7 8
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23 24 25 26 27 28 29