Today's poems [4.9.17]
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There was a young man of Loch Leven
Who went for a walk about seven.
He fell into a pit
That was brimful of shit,
And now the poor bugger's in heaven.
Peter, first Duke of Orange
Was limited to a miserable four-inch,
But technique in a keyhole
Developed his P-hole
"Til at last it got caught in the door-hinge.
There was a young girl of Penzance
Who boarded a bus in a trance.
The passengers fucked her,
Likewise the conductor.
The driver shot off in his pants.
"My body, by my own admission,"
I told him, "is in top condition."
I said with a snigger,
"I worship my figure."
Then he tried to embrace my religion.
There was a girl from the five and ten
Who diddled herself with a fountain pen.
The top came off,
The ink went wild,
And now she's the mother of a coloured child.
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