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Today's jokes [4.5.17]

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The Naming of Jesus


A group of biblical scholars were involved in a heated discussion about how Jesus of Nazareth 
was named. How did he become known as the Messiah, or Christ. One of the scholars argued that 
the name was a Greek corruption of Aramaic, and purists and fundamentalists ought to use the 
name Joshua. Another argued that Joshua was Hebrew, not Aramaic, to which a third argued that 
Hebrew should be used because Jesus was said to be the King of the Jews. The debate went on 
and on and became more and more sophisticated and obtuse. Finally, an old man known for his 
wisdom intervened. He informed the group that he knew how Jesus was named. When Jesus was born, 
a star shown in the sky, and three wise men from the East travelled to Bethlehem. They had 
travelled for days, suffered great deprivation, and when they finally got to Bethlehem got 
lost trying to find the manger. Finally, after much ado, and in rather foul moods, they 
reached the manger and entered the stall. As one of them came through the door, he tripped on 
the door sill, and fell into the wall hitting his head. "Jesus Christ!" he screamed, and
that is how the baby was named. 

1. 




Mac vs. Etch-a-Sketch:

                                         You Decide



                                                __________
                                               |  ______  |
 ________                                      | |      | |
| ______ |        'But that isn't a fair       | |      | |
||      ||         comparison.  People         | |______| |
||______||        like the Etch-A-Sketch.'     |          |
| o    o |                                     | _ _ _ _ _|
|________|                                    (|__________|\
                                              |     ________)_
Roger Earl                                   [^]   |          |
roger_earl@outbound.wimsey.bc.ca             [_]   |__________|


After admiring the above signature I thought I'd post a comparison,
similar to the other great computer wars.

                                Etch-A-Sketch           Mac Classic

No. of Colours                        2                     2
Resolution                        ~2000*~2000           512 * 342
No. of buttons                        2                     1
Preemptive Multitasking              Yes                    No
Hardware line draw                   Yes                    No
Price                                < $20                ~ $1000
Power Consumption                     No                   Yes
Laptop                               Yes                    No
Slow Operating System                 No                   Yes
Non Volatile Memory                  Yes                    No
Choice of Coloured box               Yes                    No
Robust design (shakeable)            Yes                    No

After considering the above options, I decided to buy the Etch-A-Sketch.
For all you die-hard Amiga fanatics out there rumour has it that the
Etch-A-Sketch-Emulator is coming out for the Amiga, and will in fact
be faster than the true E-A-S.



2. 




A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next
   to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he
   notices that she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her
   about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book about sexual
   statistics. It identifies that American Indialns have the longest
   average penis and Polish men have the biggest average diameter. By the
   way my name is Jill. What's yours?" He coolly replies, "Tonto
   Kowalski, nice to meet you."


3. 




A strained voice called out through the darkened
theater, "Please, is there a doctor in the house?!" 

Several men stood up as the lights came on. 

An older lady pulled her daughter to stand next to her,
"Good, are any of you doctors single and interested in
a date with a good, Jewish girl?"

4. 




A prostitute goes to the hospital to visit a colleague who is about to 
have a heart transplant. She's worried about the friend so she asks the 
doctor: Girlfriend: I'm worried about my friend doc, what if her body 
rejects the organ?
Doctor: Well she's 36 years old and healthy. How long has she been in 
business?
Girlfriend: She's been working since she was 19 years old but what does 
that have to do with anything?
Doctor: Well she's been working 17 years and hasn't rejected an organ yet!

5. 



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