Today's jokes [4.2.17]
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Three newly incarcerated convicts are discussing how they
will pass their time in jail.
The first one pulls out a harmonica and says "I can play
all my favorite songs on this."
The second takes out a deck of cards. "I can play poker
with myself with these."
The third gets out a box of tampons. "Well, it says on here
that with these I can go swimming, horseback riding, cycling, ..."
A woman in the labor ward of the general hospital, legs spread wide, lets
out a loud yell and out pops a little black head.
"There was this black guy once" she said to the midwife. Then she screamed
again and out pops a yellow body. "That must be the Chinese guy I slept
with" she said. Then one more scream and the baby’s white legs were born,
"Ah - that was the husbands bit" she said.
The doctor held up the multicolored baby and gave it a slap, then baby
started crying. The woman looked at the doctor & said "Thank fuck for
that, I thought it was going to bark !!!"
A farmer goes to confession for the first time in twenty years and
tells the priest he's been having sexual intercourse with a pig ever
since his wife died.
The priest asks him if he intends to continue doing it and whether the
pig is a male or female.
"No! I'm not doing it anymore!" says the farmer. "And the pig is a
female, of course. What the hell do you think I am -- a goddam queer?
Waxing eloquent on the sins of the flesh, the dynamic
young preacher raised himself to full height, leaned over
the pulpit and boomed,
"Brothers and sisters, if there are any among you who have
committed adultery, may your tongue cleave to the woof of
Q: Why was the blonde looking in the refrigerator?
A: Because The organe Juice said concentrate
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