Today's jokes [4.10.17]
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"I can't find a cause for your illness," the doctor said. "Frankly,
I think it's due to drinking."
"In that case," replied his blonde patient, "I'll come back when
you are sober."
During the Vietnam war, a Lieutenant asked a Marine why he
was falling back during a really fierce battle. "Didn't you hear
me say that we're outnumbered 4 to 1 ?"
The Marine replied, "I got my four Sir."
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students,
pointing out some of the rules:
"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male
students, and the male dormitory to the female students.
Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."
He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second
time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost
you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?"
At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired:
"How much for a season pass?"
A construction worker goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I'm
The doctor examines him for a minute and then says, "Lean
over the table."
The construction worker leans over the table, the doctor whacks
him on the ass with a baseball bat, and then sends him into the
He comes out a few minutes later and says, "Doc, I feel great.
What should I do?"
The doctor says, "Stop wiping with cement bags."
It seems that Ken Starr is dropping all sexual allegations against
President Clinton. It all stems from the Paula Jones case. The
spokesperson remarked that it would be impossible for a woman with
a six inch nose to give a blow job to a person with a three inch dick.
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