Today's stories [3.5.17]
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Ladies Night Out.
So ... the other day, three friends and I went to this
"Ladies Night Club." One of the girls wanted to impress us,
so she pulls out a $10 bill. The "dancer" came over to us,
and my friend licked the $10 and put it on his butt cheek.
Not to be outdone, my second friend pulls out a $20 bill.
She calls the guy back over, licks the $20 bill and puts it
on his other butt cheek.
Still attempting to impress the rest of us, my third friend
pulls out a $50 bill. She calls the guy back over again,
licks the $50 bill and again puts it on one of his butt
Now the attention is focused on me. What could I do to top
that? I got out my wallet, thought for a minute ... and
then the financial analyst in me took over.
I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his ass,
grabbed the $80 bucks and went home.
Sent by Neicey
A lady who was known as Churchill's main rival in parliament was giving a
speech. Churchill, with his usual enthusiasm for his rival, dozed off
while the lady was speaking. She stopped her speech and awoke Sir Winston
by yelling, "Mr. Churchill, must you sleep while I talk?" Churchill
sleepily replied, "No, ma'am. I do so purely by choice."
I was playing in a night club, and getting few requests and small tips.
Towards the end of the night, a man walked up with a wad of bills in his
hand and asked me to play a jazz chord. I played an Amaj7.
He said, "No, no. A jazz chord."
I did a little improvisational thing, but he didn't like that either.
"No, no, no! A jazz chord. You know, 'A jazz chord, to say, ah love you.'"
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