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Today's poems [3.9.17]

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By a cozy peat fire in O'Dell, 
               Sat a Scot and a Mick, I hear tell. 
                    "I'm full," cried O'Brien. 
                    Said McLoed,"Well, I'm buyin'." 
               Sure and now, that's a cold day in hell. 

1. 




               Any whore whose door sports a red light 
               Knows a prick when she sees one, all right. 
                    She can tell by a glance 
                    At the drape of men's pants 
               If they're worth taking on for the night. 

2. 




There was an old man of Madrid 
            Who went to an auction to bid. 
                In the first lot they sold 
                Was an ancient commode--- 
            And, my God, when they lifted the lid! 

3. 




There was a young man named Zerubbabel 
               Who had only one real, and one rubber ball. 
                    When they asked if his pleasure 
                    Was only half measure, 
               He replied, "That is highly improbable." 

4. 




The voice from the UFO cried,
"To the smartest we'll give a free ride!"
Several men volunteered,
But the ship disappeared
With a whale and two dolphins inside. 

5. 



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