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Today's poems [3.8.17]

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               There was a young fellow named Chivy 
               Who, whenever he went to the privy, 
                    First solaced his mind, 
                    And then wiped his behind 
               With some well-chosen pages of Livy 

1. 




A young lady from South Carolina 
               Placed fiddle strings 'cross her vagina. 
                    What, with proper sized cocks, 
                    Once was sex, became Bach's 
               Tocatta and Fugue in D Minor. 

2. 




The Camel

The sexual needs of a camel
are greater than anyone thinks.
For once in a moment of passion
it attempted to ravish the Sphinx.

The Sphinx's posterior entrance
was clogged by the sands of the Nile,
which accounts for the hump on the camel
and the Sphinx's inscrutable smile :)

Sent by FLG

3. 




Owed to the Spelling Checker



I have a spelling checker
It came with my PC
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot sea.

Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your sure reel glad two no.
Its vary polished in it's weigh
My checker tolled me sew.

A checker is a bless sing,
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when aye rime.

Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule
The checker pour o'er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule.

Be fore a veiling checkers
Hour spelling mite decline,
And if were lacks or have a laps,
We wood be maid to wine.

Butt now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flare,
Their are know faults with in my cite,
Of non eye am a wear.

Now spelling does knot phase me,
It does knot bring a tier.
My pay purrs awl due glad den
With wrapped words fare as hear.

To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should be proud.
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaws are knot aloud.

Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays
Such soft ware four pea seas.
And why I brake in two averse
By righting want too pleas.



4. 




Brian is an idiot!
 And everybody knows
 When he goes to bed at night
 He puts polish on his toes

 Brian is so stupid
 He sucks himself all day
 And when I went to a farm once
 And saw him eating hay

 Brian is a numbskull
 He loves a girl named Jade
 And he wanted her to kiss him so much
 Once he even paid



5. 



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 March '17 Poems Issues:
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12 13 14 15 16 17 18 
19 20 21 22 23 24 25 
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