Today's poems [3.6.17]
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There was a young fellow from Florida
Who liked a friend's wife, so he borrowed her.
When they got into bed,
He cried, "God strike me dead,
This ain't a cunt, it's a corridor!"
Once a pirate named Yates
Danced the jig for all of his mates.
He slipped in his cutlas,
And made himself nutless,
And now he's quite useless on dates.
I fell in love with a dry martini
But now she`s gone
And passed away...
Or rather, passed right through me.
After that, I drank some coffee
I found sobriety
She made me high
She gave me kicks
She made me ill
I was only six!
© 1989 Peter Hughes.
Sent by Pete Hughes
Mary had a little lamb,
Its fleece was slightly grey.
It didn't have a father,
Just some borrowed DNA.
It sort of had a mother,
Though the ovum was on loan.
It was not so much a lambkin
As a little lamby clone.
And soon it had a fellow clone,
And soon it had some more.
It made the children laugh and sing,
The teachers found it droll;
There were too many lamby clones
For Mary to control.
No other could control the sheep
Since their programs didn't vary,
So the scientists resolved it all
By simply cloning Mary.
But now they feel quite sheepish,
Those scientists unwary.
One problem solved, but what to do
With Mary, Mary, Mary?
There was a bluestocking in Florence
Wrote anti-sex pamphlets in torrents,
Till a Spanish grandee
Got her off with his knee,
And she burned all her works with abhorrence.
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